Friday, July 30, 2010

Miss Interpretation

Yesterday afternoon I was in my kitchen making homemade ravioli, (because you know I have so much free time, I have to fill it somehow!) when Sonya came in looking for little Ziploc baggies.

"What are you doing with those?" I asked her.

"Lana and I are going to pick rose petals and put them in here," she explained.

This was not an unusual thing for them to do. They were always going outside and picking leaves off trees to make "soup", or throw dying rose petals in the air for their "parties", so I didn't really question it.

"Fine, just make sure you don't pick any new rose petals, just the old ones that are about to fall off," I reminded her.

She agreed and went on her way. After about ten minutes she and Lana walked into the kitchen. She lifted up her skirt and patted the front of her underwear, which crinkled. Then she looked up at me and said,

"Medz Mama told us to do this!"

"Do what?" I asked, stopping my pasta rolling mid roll.

"She told me you can put rose petals in a baggie and put it in your underwear to make it smell nice!" Then she patted the front of her underwear again, which again made the crinkly noise. I realized the noise was the Ziploc baggie filled with rose petals.

"She told you to do WHAT?" I asked. Sonya repeated herself, then looked over at Lana. I turned to look at Lana, who got a huge grin on her face, lifted up her skirt and patted her noisy underwear too.


Why on earth would my mother-in-law be telling my kids to put Ziploc baggies of rose petals in their underwear?? This did NOT seem like the kind of thing she would do at all. My mother-in-law is a very polite, sort of reserved woman. Sure she can have fun, but she's not really the- party down, dance on tables at weddings when she's drunk- kind of woman. No, no that's reserved for other people in my family. She's that old school- doesn't leave the house without her makeup and hair done- kind of woman. The type of woman who I watched put on lipstick when she was going for a walk around the block at my house in BURBANK, because "you never know who might see you". So I couldn't wrap my head around why SHE would tell my girls to make their private area smell good by putting bagged rose petals in their underwear.


I would have called her then, but my hands were still covered in ravioli dough, so it would have to wait. Instead, I sent the girls back outside to play before they could catch me laughing at the two of them. Sonya was so happy about her potpourri private area, and since I wasn't sure what she had been told, I didn't want to burst her bubble... or baggie. Not to mention you do NOT argue with that kid unless you have all the facts. Trust me. Then I made a mental note to discuss with my husband about his mom starting to lose it.

After he got home from work and Sonya explained to him what Medz Mama told her to do, he looked at me and said,


"I have NO idea," I replied.

"Call her right now and ask her," he told me.

As I picked up the phone to dial her, I thought about the story again when it suddenly dawned on me what she had been trying to tell Sonya. I called her anyway, because I was sure she would get a kick out of Sonya's interpretation of her beauty tip.

At some point during their visit here a few weeks ago, she told Sonya that you could put dry rose petals in sachet bag and put it in your underwear DRAWER to make the underwear smell good. AHHH! It all made sense now. My mother-in-law hadn't lost her mind, my daughter just didn't get the whole concept of the sachet bag and totally missed the part about putting the bag in a drawer, NOT her actual underwear. But damn, was it funny! It reminded me of ANY episode of Three's Company. Julia laughed for a while too when I told her the story of the girls and their crinkly underwear.

Then she promised to look for some sachet bags to bring with her next time she comes. I'll just make sure Sonya keeps the bag in her drawer. Although, if you ever want your underwear to smell nice quickly, putting it directly in what you have on might just work better. Maybe Sonya was on to something after all.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Next Character in the "Twilight" Series

There is one particular behavioral problem I have not had to deal with amongst my girls. One that my sister and some friends have gone through with their kids, but not me! Nope! My girls did not go through THAT phase. Until now. Turns out that Georgia may have a little vampire in her.

The biting is something that has gotten increasingly worse in the past two weeks. I believe it's because she discovered that she can get a MAJOR reaction from her sisters when she does it. When they are fighting or she is not getting what she wants, she whips out the fangs and takes a chunk out of an arm, or shoulder, sometimes the back. When it happens I usually give her a time out and console the victim. I try to give more attention to the victim, because I have read this is what you are supposed to do, but so far she doesn't really seem to care. In fact she has a damn cute little smile on her face after she does it, and it's all I can do to keep from laughing at her. The worst is when she does it in public where I don't have much recourse, like today in Costco.

We were about halfway through our trip when she and Lana started going at it. Those shopping carts with the seats side by side seem like such a good idea at the time. Then your kids try to kill each other. Why is there no partition between the two seats? Or at least one you can put up and down like in a limo. That would work so well! Who wants to get on this idea? Anyone?

Anyway, they were hitting each other back and forth and it was starting to escalate. I eventually put a stop to it, by pulling Lana out and letting her walk. After they both settled down I decided Lana should get back in, since it was easier to keep track of her in the cart. She wasn't back in 30 seconds when she started to wail. I turned back to see what had happened just in time for Georgia to sit up and away from Lana's back. Lana was crying loudly and claiming Georgia bit her on her back. I lifted up her shirt to see a small red mark right above her shoulder blade. I know it was one of those bites that hurts like a bitch, because she only bit a tiny piece of skin. I scolded Georgia and took away her snack, there wasn't too much else I could to do her at that point. She did her little smile at me. Then I ignored her and consoled Lana for about five minutes. She decided to get back out of the cart afraid Vampira would bite her again. I allowed this, since I really couldn't blame her for not trusting her sister.

After a few minutes I explained to Georgia AGAIN, that it was not nice to bite and how badly she hurt her sister. I even showed her the mark. This seemed to register a little more and she apologized to Lana. Lana however, was in no mood to accept this apology and refused to talk to GG. Georgia was upset and kept whining to me,

"Yana won tawk to me."

"Sorry, Georgia." I told her. "You bit her and that hurt so now she's mad at you."

She pouted about this for a few minutes. Then as we were walking toward the front to checkout, an older woman passed us. She looked at Georgia and exclaimed,

"What a pretty little girl you are!"

Georgia turned around, looked at her and said,

"I bite Yana."

This made both the woman and me laugh, although I'm not so sure she knew what Georgia was saying. I did and it seemed to me that she was starting to figure out biting isn't a nice thing to do. I THINK she is starting to figure it out anyway. I mean, she did tell on herself.

I have no idea how long this phase will last, but everyone I know who has run into this problem has told me it is something they just grow out of. My youngest sister, Megan, went through it for a time and I'll never forget the time she bit me on the shoulder. Hard. I think she was a little bit younger than Georgia is now. I know SHE eventually grew out of it, I'm just not sure when, although I don't recall her biting me in our teen years. So until then I guess we'll all just have to carry around holy water and wear garlic around our neck. After seeing what Georgia did to Lana today, I'm not taking any chances of her getting her fangs into me.

Monday, July 26, 2010


Since the beginning of the summer, anytime we got to a pool, ANY pool- community, neighbors, hotel, whatever-Lana asks us,

"Are there sharks and whales in there?"

I have no idea where she got the idea that sharks and whales frequent chlorine filled pools, but it has gotten in head and she won't let it go. Sometimes when we are in a pool, she will freak out thinking the shadow that the tree is making is a shark about to eat her. Now if this was the early 80's, I would totally understand. I mean who out there my age WASN'T terrified of sharks thanks to the classic film Jaws? I think I even went through a phase where I too was worried that maybe pool sharks were a real thing. However, Lana has never seen Jaws. As crazy as I am, I'm not THAT crazy to let me kids watch something like that. Never the less, she seems to have a serious fear of sharks, and for some reason, whales a bit too. So when we went to the Aquarium of the Bay in San Francisco, I was surprised when all she wanted to do was find the sharks.

From the moment we stepped foot in the aquarium, she started asking about where the sharks were.

"But Lana look over here! Cool Jellyfish!"

"Yeah! Where are the sharks?"

"We'll see them soon."

"When? Is this where the sharks are?"

It went on like this for the first 20 minutes of the aquarium. Then we took the elevator down to the tunnels you walk through where fish swim all around you. It's like being inside a giant fish tank. On the elevator ride down, the aquarium employee informed us there would be two tunnels we would walk through. One with big fish, starfish, etc. Then the second, oh! the second one would have sharks. THE sharks! That was all Lana heard. From the moment we stepped off the elevator and into the tunnels she looked all around at the fish asking for the sharks.

"Look Lana a starfish!"

"Oooooo! Where's the sharks?!"

I thought that first tunnel would take FOREVER to get through. When it finally led into the second tunnel, I saw a few sharks right away, and immediately pointed them out to Lana. She was excited and wanted to know where more were. Luckily they were, literally, swimming all around us and it wasn't hard to point more out. She squealed every time she saw a new one. Toward the end of the tunnel, as we were about to end the shark tour, I said.

"Do you see all the sharks now Lana? There are a lot here!"

"I know!" She said. "I'm SO happy!"

So the thing she fears so much in the water was the ONLY thing she cared about seeing at the aquarium. Not only was it the only thing she cared about seeing, but it made her SO happy. I can't say I don't understand this phenomena. I mean as scared as I am of sharks, thanks to Jaws, I am also completely fascinated with them. They are always the animal I like to find in aquariums, and Shark Week in August is a fun time for me. So I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised by her fear/fascination with sharks. It seems that she came by it naturally.
And truth be told, it's a good thing pools have clear water, otherwise I might still be hesitant to get in.

Da Na, Da Na, Da Na......

Friday, July 23, 2010

Name That Tune

Over our vacation we spent a bunch of time in the car. Therefore we spent a bunch of time listening to music. The latest music in the car over the past few months has been popular songs, made popular again, by the hit show Glee. I totally admit, I love this show. Now Sonya loves this show too, and we both love the songs. My friend Melinda made us CDs of all the songs they've released on iTunes. Since she gave them to us in April, they've been in constant rotation in my min-van. The girls each have their favorite songs and every time we get in the car they want to hear "their" song. I will oblige each of them, and they will belt out "their" song at top volume while it is playing. For Sonya that song is Lady Gaga's, "Bad Romance".

Any of you out there who don't know the song, take a minute to go check it out on iTunes. You can just listen to the free twenty seconds they give you just to hear the chorus. I'll wait.


Good. Now for those of you who know the song, Glee has cleaned it up and there are no bad words in it. However, most five year olds don't know what the words are in songs to begin with, sooooo you never know WHAT they're going to sing. Such is the case with Sonya and this particular song.

Even though I've heard her sing it in the car many times before, I had never heard her sing what she sang when we were in San Francisco. What she sang LOUDLY, in front of my IN-LAWS, in San Francisco. Sometimes she would sing the words "bad romance". Then other times...well other times for some reason, she sang the words "fag romance".

Now let me assure everyone out there. Andy and I love the gays. We do not have one problem with gay or lesbians whatsoever and even voted in favor of them getting married. In fact we do have quite a few friends who are gay or lesbian. We do not in ANY way use that word in our house. Even if it was ever uttered in a joking manner, it would not be in front of any of the girls. So I have zero idea where she heard it. I believe those are just the sounds she hears in the song.

Either way, I had a very difficult time not laughing at my daughter sitting in her car seat next to her grandparents, loudly, and I do mean loudly, belting out a Lady Gaga tune, while changing the words to "fag romance". Meanwhile my mother-in-law sat next to her and kept yelling to us in the front,

"What are you teaching my granddaughter?! What are you letting her listen to?!"

This only made Andy and I laugh harder. Thank goodness we were all the way in the front and nobody really noticed that we were crying with laughter, every time Sonya sang the wrong word. The fact is, it is a completely innocent mistake on Sonya's part. She has no idea what she's singing and truly believes that what she is putting her heart and soul into are the correct words. We've all been there. "Wrapped up like a douche" anyone? Megan once thought Paula Abdul's "You got me knocked out" was, "you got me knocked up". Waaaaayyy different song.

Yes, I do plan on correcting her and making sure she knows the right word, I just didn't want to embarrass her and do it in front of everyone. And okay fine, there is a little part of me that wants to hear it just one more time, because it is so damn funny.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sister Support

I did promise you all a longer story today, so thanks for checking in and here you go!

Let me start this by giving you a bit of back story. Most of the time when one of the girls throws a temper tantrum we will walk away and let it happen. That is if we're not in public. Sometimes we try to do things to calm them down, like tell them to take deep breaths, or relax. When they do calm down, we will usually commend them by saying, "Good job calming down, Lana (or Georgia or Sonya)." This helps them to completely come back down to earth and actually listen to us.

On our first day in San Francisco, the same day we forgot to bless Lana, we were on our way back to the car after a full day of Fisherman's Wharf and the Aquarium of the Bay. It was also the first day of no naps for the two little girls. The first of THREE days of no naps. All the moms out there just gasped, because you know how bad it can get without one nap that is much needed, but three days in a row? I was pretty sure one of the girls was going to to start having her head spin around while speaking in tongues by Monday. But, we were on VACATION! So we were letting it go and doing our best to control the crankies. I have to say, they did do pretty well overall, and to be honest I think the first day may have been their crankiest. Well, Lana's anyway.

So, we were on our way to the car when Lana decided she needed to pee. I told everyone to go to the car and get the other two buckled in while I took Lana to the bathroom. When we returned to the car, everyone was waiting for us. Lana climbed in the car and started to get in her seat. I walked over to the parking payment station to take care of the parking for the day. When I got back to the car, I found Lana outside of it and Andy threatening to leave her there. I asked what the problem was and they informed me Lana wanted ME to buckle her. This is an ongoing theme with her, wanting me to do everything. It's less about me and more about her need to have power over a situation. We decided we were not giving in to her this time, and Andy forced her back into her seat and buckled her himself.

To say she was unhappy would be a serious understatement. She started a temper tantrum to end all temper tantrums. Since we were in the car, we decided to let it go, doing our best to ignore her. She screamed and cry and thrashed her body around the car seat. She threw her blankie on the ground and pulled her shoes and socks off her feet. Then she complained of her skirt falling down. Most likely due to all the thrashing about. Instead of getting a hold of herself to ask nicely for help she yelled,


When I continued to ignore the orders, she whined and cried some more. Then she began to yell,


That one killed me, but I knew that talking to her at that point would just negate everything we were trying to do. She knew how to ask for things and how to calm down. I had to believe she would figure it out.

Then she started to yell for her blankie. The one she had thrown on the floor. Again, I waited for the demands to end and to hear a nicer request from her. Sonya and my in-laws sat in the backseat doing their best to ignore the situation and played "I-spy" as we drove toward the Bay Bridge and our hotel. Georgia sat next to Lana in her car seat sucking her thumb, clutching her blankie and staring straight ahead.

The tantrum went on for what seemed like ten hours, but was at least a good ten minutes. She would slow down and seem to be getting to a stopping point, but then rev back up again. Finally, just when I thought I was going to break, I heard her take a deep breath and say very calmly,


I really didn't think not to respond to her because she had said is so sweetly and calmly. So I immediately said, "Yes, Lana?"

"I peeze have my bankie?" she asked very kindly.

"Of course you can," I replied and handed it to her. She put it in her mouth and relaxed further. Then, from the seat next to her, Georgia pulled her thumb from her mouth turned to look at her sister and said,

"Goo calming dow Lana."

I looked over at Andy and the two of us giggled at Georgia's praise of her sister. We then agreed and complemented Lana as well.

It's so hard to figure out the right thing to do in some of those situations, especially when the tantrums get so out of control. Every parent has their own way of doing things. Who knows if we handled it the "right" way, but as least I know we're teaching our girls to support one another. That has to be at least one point in the doing things right category.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Forgetting Our Manners

I plan on writing a longer story tomorrow, once my in-laws leave and I have more time, but for now let me tell this little one.

On our first day traveling to San Francisco from our hotel we all piled in the car. I programmed the Garmin, Andy started the engine, and Robert and Julia were busy buckling the girls in their seats. Somewhere during all this, Lana sneezed. Since we were all preoccupied with something else, nobody said anything. After about 30 seconds without a response to her sneeze Lana yelled,


We all responded immediately with a chorus of "Bless yous". Then we made our way across the Bay Bridge to San Fran, chuckling to ourselves about Lana as we went. Unfortunately, that would not be the last time she would be so demanding that weekend, but the last time it was so cute.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Road Trip

Hello all! No I haven't forgotten about this blog or any of you waiting by your computer for the next installment. I am currently on vacation in San Francisco with Andy, the girls and my in-laws. Okay so it's a working vacation, but a vacation none the less. Plus it is the only one I will get this year. I will be back to updating by Tuesday next week. I already have some fun stories to tell! Check in soon!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

She's Always a Wonder

On Monday I packed up the girls and drove down to Dana Point to visit my friend Stacy and her son Carter. I've mentioned Carter before. He and Sonya have been friends since they were babies, and last year they moved out of Burbank about an hour and a half away. This was the first chance this summer we've had to go visit them. It works out well, because they live right near the beach. That is always a plus when it's summer. Too bad it hasn't been summer here in Southern California until just this week. I'm serious. It's been cloudy and in the 70s for months. At first I didn't mind, but at some point I wanted to waste electricity and turn on the AC. That time has come. It's 95 and sunny here today. Wish granted!

So like I was saying, we went to visit Stacy and Carter. We had a great time going to lunch and the beach. When we were packing up to leave, Stacy brought a few books out to me that Carter had read. They are the kind of books that the kids can read on their own. She said he had read them all a bunch of times and was done with them. Stacy is always sending us home with some toy or game that her kids don't want anymore. It's a good way for her to get rid of crap in her house and a great way for us to get free stuff! And more crap in OUR house! Yay. Thanks Stacy. I showed Sonya the books and she immediately started flipping through some of them. I told her she could start reading them on the way home.

There was one that caught her attention right way. It was a superhero book, with Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman on the cover. That was the one she decided to read first. Now keep in mind these books all say "Level 2" on them, which means second to third grade. A few weeks ago, my sister asked if she was reading out loud all the time or in her head. I hadn't really noticed, but started paying attention. I would see her pick up books and look through them, but I was never sure she was actually reading them, or just looking at them. After our drive home on Monday, I found the answer.

She spent the first part of the drive reading the Superhero book. When we arrived home a while later she disappeared for few minutes into her room. When she came out, this is what she was dressed like:

Then she said,

"I'm Wonder Woman!"

I laughed and thought of my friend Trista, who is a huge Wonder Woman fan. Anytime I see anything to do with Wonder Woman, I think of her. One Halloween, when we were in our early twenties, she dressed up as Wonder Woman. I was dressed as Super Girl and we actually went Trick or Treating. I think people thought we were in high school because we looked so young. Now, here was my daughter making her own Wonder Woman costume. I was beginning to suspect Wonder Woman had another fan in the making.

Sonya disappeared into her room and came out with the plastic container I keep their dress up clothes in. She sat on it and tried to move it around the kitchen with her feet.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"This is my invisible jet," she quickly replied.

At that moment it became very clear that she had indeed read that book, not out loud, but in her head, and understood everything. My sister informs me that the is at least a second if not a third grade skill.

If you combine her smarts with her strengths, since climbing the rope last week, I think she may indeed be Wonder Woman. Or at least Wonder Girl. She's already decided this is what she is going to be for Halloween. So if Trista wants to dust off her old costume and hop on plane to L.A. in October, we could have ourselves a very Wonder Woman Halloween.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Top Of Her Game

I don't believe I've mentioned before that all three of my girls take gymnastics classes. I think I've mentioned going to gymnastics, but haven't really talked about it. Sonya has been going since she was 2 1/2, Lana since she was a baby and Georgia before she was even born. Although, they didn't actually start the classes until they could walk. Still, we've been doing it for a while. They all love going and get excited when it's "their day" for gymnastics. If they didn't love it so much we would not go, because it's starting to cost us an arm, leg and part of a hip. It is the only extracurricular thing they do. My kids will never be big enough to play most sports competitively, but gymnastics is one thing they could end up doing seriously. It's for short girls! Move over Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin, here come the Dadekian ladies! Especially Lana who is such a peanut and seems to be the best at it.

About four months ago, I moved Sonya to a different class than the Thursday one we had been taking. It was a different day and time that worked better with the little girls' naps. It was also a bit of a tougher class for her, which she needed, but was not happy with. Sonya is the type of kid who some things come VERY easily to. So when something does not, she gets frustrated, almost immediately. This class was something she wasn't used to and they did do some harder things. I thought it was great. She cried every time we went. FOR A MONTH. However, she always wanted to go. I will give that to her. She may get frustrated when she can't do something right away and cry, but she still wants to do it until she gets it. There was one part of class that she was particularly upset about; Climbing the rope.

Some of you may remember the rope we had to climb in gym class when we were kids for P.E. Same kind of rope. This one drops into a giant foam pit. The little kid classes use it to swing on, but the bigger kids try climbing it. Some kids in her class could do it and some couldn't, but they all try. There was one day she got pretty far up, but then looked down and got scared. When she started to come back down, she came down too fast and rope burned her hands. That was enough to keep her from trying to hard for about another two months. After that time, I made a deal with her. Whenever she did reach the top of the rope and rang the bell that hung from the ceiling, whatever day that was, whether it was in 10 days or 10 months I would take her to Menchie's for some frozen yogurt. That was three months ago.

This past Tuesday, we went to her class. She's well past the point of being upset when she goes and can do just about everything her instructor, Alex, asks her to. The one thing she hasn't gotten past is the rope. In her defence they don't do it every week. Usually it's an every other week thing. The last time they did it, she got thisclose. Unfortunately, it was the week we were having swim lessons in the morning. I think that combined with the 45 minutes of gymnastics she had just done, made her too tired.

This week she was the second one to get on that rope. I knew the minute she jumped on that she was going to make it all the way. Did I have my camera or flip video that day? Of course not! Why I ask, why? No matter though, phones do it all these days.

All of the moms, who sit on the side, cheered her name all the way to the top. She got about five inches away and stopped, tired. Then we all yelled for her to keep going, and it was just the push she needed to get herself up that last bit to reach over and ring the bell. Everyone cheered for her as she SLOWLY came down the rope. I was so excited. As she climbed out of the foam pit, I walked over toward her. She was smiling from ear to ear, beaming with pride. I gave her a big hug and told her how proud of her I was. She looked at me with a big smile and said,

"Can we go to Menchie's now?"

She had just accomplished something she had been trying to do for MONTHS, and her only thought was now she can get her frozen yogurt. Yup-she's my kid!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

A Baby Story

I mentioned a few months ago, when my little sister had her second girl, that my sister Beth was pregnant with her third baby. We didn't know what she was having at that point, but on Thursday, we found out.

Before I tell you what she had, let me tell you the little story behind this birth. Beth has had two C-sections and when she decided to get pregnant a 3rd time, she thought she would just have to schedule another C-section. Fortunately, she had an OB who employed a Mid-Wife. Both believed there was no reason she could not try for a vaginal delivery. This was an exciting option for my sister, who felt like she had been "robbed" of the complete birth experience. I understand this completely.

I've mentioned before that Sonya was a C-section baby, and I was more than upset when I had to have her that way. When I had Lana I was determined to have a VBAC. I managed to have one with her and Georgia. I completely understood where Beth was coming from and supported her 110%. She did a ton of research on line, hired a Doula and read a bunch of birthing books. She would tell me all the information she learned and it was making ME want to get pregnant again, just to try it more naturally, without the drugs. I know that might sound crazy. The bigger problem for me is that I don't really want another baby, so I decided against it.

She did get resistance from people about her decision, but she stuck with it. When the baby was breech for weeks, she did everything she could to get it to turn. From seeing a chiropractor, to homeopathic solutions. She ended up going to the hospital and having what is called an external cephalic version. This is where the doctor turns the baby from the outside. I'm not sure quite how it works, but it did work and the baby was finally in a go position. Now all she had to do was wait for labor. Unfortunately, labor would never come.

Thursday morning I talked to my sister for about 45 minutes, until about 1pm her time. At that point she was completely fine and not complaining of anything unusual. Then around 3pm MY time I got a call from, Kevin her husband, asking me when I had spoken to her that day. I asked him what has going on, and he informed me that she had called him at work to tell him she was in horrible pain and needed him to come home right now. By the time he was pulling into his driveway, there was an ambulance right behind him.


Now, for those of you who don't know Beth, she is NOT the drama queen of the family. That honor is left to me and my youngest sister, Megan. Megan may be slightly more dramatic than I am, but still, we both play our parts. Beth, however, has always been the quiet laid back one, so for her to call 911 means something is seriously wrong.

After a few rounds of calls and updates from her husband, when they got to the hospital, it seemed as though everything looked okay. They were going to keep her in the hospital overnight for observation, and she and the baby were fine. Eventually, Kevin gave me a phone number to call her. Thinking everything was okay, as soon as she answered the phone I joked,

"What, so you want to take over the drama queen role in the family now?"


"Beth?" I asked.

"They're giving me a C-section," she said very quietly. "I'm just broken."

I thought I was going to cry. I felt so bad for my younger sister. She had done everything in her power to get the birth she wanted, but no matter how much she planned or tried, God or the Universe or whatever, had much different plans. She had something called placental abruption. This is when the placenta separates from the uterine wall and the effects can be well, disastrous to both mother and baby. There was no other option than to have the C-section. Well, no other option that would keep my sister and the baby alive anyway.

There was nothing I could say to her to make her feel better. I knew the LAST thing she wanted to hear was "Well, the most important thing is a healthy baby." I mean, yes that is the ultimate goal. That is, of course, what she most wanted, but she had tried so hard to give birth the way her body was meant to, and she was losing that. All I could say to her was,

"That just sucks. I'm so sorry."

Lame, I know, but it was all I had. She soon got off the phone with me and went to have her baby. I waited about two hours for the call. My mom was calling me to see if I had heard. Megan was calling me too, but I was waiting just the same as they were. Finally around 6:30, Kevin called to give me the good news. Zach was no longer the lone boy in the family. My sister gave birth to Benjamin Alex on July 1st at 8:30pm.

When I talked to her a while later, she was happy. Her baby boy was here and healthy. Even though she was upset by the C-section, she knew there was nothing she could have done, unlike so many C-sections done today. Hers was a medical necessity. A true life or death situation.

I know the next few weeks will be hard on her physically and emotionally. I hope she can take comfort knowing that she did EVERYTHING she could to achieve a natural birth. So many woman end up with unnecessary C-sections today. So many don't even try for a VBAC after one and after two it's unheard of. A lot of doctors won't even talk about a vaginal birth after a C-section. Sure there is a risk for something to go wrong, but the risk is so small. Anyone having a baby is taking a risk anyway. You have no idea what it will do to your body and there are so many things can go wrong. I'm very proud of my sister for what she did and learned even if she didn't get to follow through. I really wish more woman would look into this option instead of just automatically scheduling a C-Section. For some reason woman think it's easier to get cut open and recover from surgery for two plus weeks than go through a days worth of bad-horrible pain, (depending on your drug option). Sure there is still some pain "down there" afterward, but it's nothing like getting cut open. I can say this with certainty, because I HAVE had it both ways. I would spend a day in labor WITHOUT drugs than ever get another C-Section. So if anyone reading this has gone through a C-section, consider your options the next time. Figure out if a C-section was truly what you needed. Consider finding a doctor who will support a more natural childbirth next time. You'll be happy you did. If nothing else, do it in memory of my sister's girly parts that never got to push a baby out. I still commend her for trying so hard, and admire her for going for something the majority didn't agree with. Sometimes the majority isn't right.

Hold on I have to get off my soap box now, it might take a minute.


Anyway, yes Beth had a healthy baby in the end, but let's be honest, the more important thing here is not that she had a healthy baby or had a vaginal birth. The more important thing is that she had a BOY. (A boy she's keeping fully intact too, but that's soapbox for a different day. ) Now Zach doesn't have to play baby dolls and barbies at family reunions. I mean unless he wants to. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Congrats Beth, Kevin, Zach and Grace! Welcome to the (almost) all girl family little Benjamin!