Friday, March 20, 2015

What's In a Name? -An 8th Birthday Story

Tomorrow is Miss Lana Lu's 8th birthday.  Lana Lu.  Some of you might think Lu is her middle name since I call her that a lot.  However, it is not.  Her middle name is Drew, after her father, Andrew, and not Drew Barrymore like some people have also asked me.  Although eight years ago when she was born all she had was a middle name for a while.  For Andy and I middle names for the girls were the easier part.  Coming up with the first names led us to divorce proceedings.  Then we thought getting divorced over choosing a baby name was kinda stupid so you know, we worked it out, and settled on a name, or so we thought.  We are good like that.  However, little Lana didn't have a name on the day she was born.

Eight years ago today I went to the hospital to give birth to my second girl.  Andy and I had settled on giving her Drew for her middle name, because Sonya had Lynne for hers, which is also my middle name.  At the time we thought we were going to name Lana, Holly.  Holly was a name I had always liked, partially because of the British character on General Hospital I had watched growing up, but also because I think it's a pretty name.  Plus there was the fact that we really couldn't agree on anything else.  We had lists of names, but Holly was the only one we both were ok with, so we thought we would go with it.  The only bit of a problem with the name was that it also belonged to a girl Andy dated in college.

I know all of you women out there just gasped and now think I'm crazy for even entertaining this idea. To be honest, I didn't care.  I mean she was a girl he dated for a few months in college. It's not like she was ever someone he was planning on marrying.  Far from it in fact. She may have been a bit of a um...how do I put this nicely...promiscuous girl.  Yeah that's a nice word than what I was thinking of in my head (slut). What? She was!  I'm not being mean, it really is just a fact.  However,  I've never been the type to care about who dated who in their past.  I mean it's their past.  I have past boyfriends too and we were married now and pregnant with our 2nd baby.  It's not like I had a reason to be insecure.  I can't help it if the girl he dated had a name we both liked.  And dammit it was the ONLY name we both liked.  So I said- who cares.  Andy had more reservations about it than I did.  She isn't someone he keeps in contact with at all, but he worried that if he ever did run into her one day what would she think about us having a daughter with her name.  Would she think Andy harbored some burning desire for her still?  He didn't want that, because he certainly didn't.  I offered other names like Lila, or Georgia (yes that name was in the running since I had Sonya), but he wasn't keen on any of those at the moment, so we stuck with Holly.

Then I went through 23 hours of labor with the soon to be little Holly.  I was doing everything I could to not have a c-section again and I succeeded.  After I gave birth to my second daughter I was on a high I don't think I could even describe.  Okay some of that might have been the pain medication. The rest of it was the feeling of accomplishment that I hadn't been wheeled to the operating room again to have my stomach cut open.  No this baby got pushed out and I had done it.  I was elated. I was ready to run marathon!  Okay maybe not a marathon.  And perhaps not run, but I could sit up and gingerly walk to the bathroom on my own.  A million times better then right after a c-section.  

"Let me see her!" I said as they weighed and checked her APGAR.

Andy was standing with her talking to her as they looked her over.

"So?" I asked, "Is she still Holly?"

He looked up and me and definitively shook his head no.   Then when they brought her to me I saw why.  She really in no way looked like a Holly.  I don't know how else to say it.  This is why when people name their babies in the womb, then start calling them that name, I personally think it's a big mistake.  That baby can come out not looking like your name choice at all.  My second daughter was NOT a Holly.

"Then what are we going to name her?" I asked Andy, hoping he had an answer.  He did not.  Back to the proverbial drawing board.

After we had moved to our room and we had a number of people ask her name, to which we had no answer, I pulled out my notebook.  I had brought it with me with all the names we had gone over throughout the nine months.  I was calling out names I had written down for each letter to Andy and he said no or I did.  Then we got to "L".

"Lonnie?" I asked.

Andy paused for a minute.  "That's not bad," he said.

"Or how about Lana?" I said looking at the other "L" name on my list.

"That's a good one too," he admitted.

I looked down at my sleeping baby and tried out both names.  She had been born with a set of full lips anyone who's had collagen injections would have killed for.  The names both seemed to suit her, but we were still unsure.  It was late and Andy had to get home to relieve our friend Melinda who had been staying with Sonya for over a day at that point.  He left and we decided to sleep on it.  Throughout the night when I was awake with my newborn I kept trying out both names, but Lana was that one that sat  best with me.  Something about it was cute and fiery.  

Andy had gone home that night and told Melinda the names we were thinking about and she had sent me a message saying that she loved the name Lana.  So the next day when Andy came in with Sonya we both agreed.  On March 22, 2007 we introduced Sonya to her little sister, Lana Drew Dadekian.  A cute and fiery name indeed.  One that she has lived up to in her short eight years on this earth.  The name Lana means light and then I found this on a website called sheknows.com: 

"People with this name tend to initiate events, to be leaders rather than followers, with powerful personalities. They tend to be focused on specific goals, experience a wealth of creative new ideas, and have the ability to implement these ideas with efficiency and determination. They tend to be courageous and sometimes aggressive. As unique, creative individuals, they tend to resent authority, and are sometimes stubborn, proud, and impatient."



Perhaps I should have researched more before we just decided that she "looked like a Lana", and went with it.  Although most of those qualities are great and definitely Lana, it's the "aggressive, stubborn, proud and impatient" ones that have given me grief over the last eight years.  On the other hand it makes her who she is.  The kid who will decide she is going to do something and then you better stay out of her way because she is doing it. And she is doing it the way she wants to.  She is definitely determined with certain things. I've always said that Lana is the one of my three I will worry about the least in getting ahead in life.  She will make things happen if she wants them to.   Then there is the stubborn and proud part, like the morning she argued with me for ten minutes on what day my birthday was on.  She insisted it was April 28th.  Even though I've been celebrating it on April 18th for 40 years, she made me wonder for a second if I'd been on the wrong day all along.  I mean her way would make me 10 days younger.  It is well documented  on here over the years about her aggression and her temper, however, what the paragraph doesn't include is her ability to make up for her aggression.  It might take her a minute or 60 to cool off, but when she does she always apologizes to whoever she wronged.  Then everything  just goes back to normal with her.  There is no grudge holding with Lana.  What's done is done, let's move on.  Sorry if you are now sporting a 2 inch scratch across your cheek.  I will ask mom to cut my nails later.  (That really happened about 2 weeks ago.)  Don't get me wrong though, she is a friendly and kind little girl as well.  Although, those are traits I believe she works on more they are still something she aspires to be.  


Yup, tomorrow is Lana's 8th birthday.  She has developed such a great little personality in these 8 years, good and bad.  It was a personality you could see from day one, which is why the name Holly would have never suited her.  So I don't know if we chose the name Lana for her or if she chose it for herself, but I couldn't imagine her as anyone else.  She is our light. Our unique, determined, courageous, impatient, stubborn, cute fiery and yes, even sweet, light of our family.  I can't imagine my life for these past 8 years without her in it.  I love you Lana La, Lana Drew for infinity times infinity. I can't wait to see where your fantastic personality with your matching name takes you in this life.  

  

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